Tuesday Thoughts

Whew. What a week and it's only Tuesday....there just aren't enough hours in a day sometimes. Which is amusing considering with daylight savings (thanks for that bright idea Mr. Franklin) and eastern time (since when are we east?)here in southern Indiana we have like 16 HOURS of it right now...

It was a sleepless night last night. Our neighbor is weaning his cows which meant a lot of mad mooing mamas all night long. It's a summer tradition. But to top it off my furball of a cat has a plastic bag fetish. So right before dawn this morning he found one I had forgot to remove off the floor and it was a 45 minute bag adoration fest. He loves to lick bags?? Very noisy, but not a big deal to him since he's deaf...

This is the one day this week when 1. I only have evening clients 2. I'm not helping with the yardsale/guitar lesson driving/taking the kids and their friends to the beach/going to Grandma's/house cleaning and cooking for the annual 4th do. So it was grocery shopping day at Wal-Mart...with both kids....which meant lots of money and one frustrated mom...But first we went to the Washington park. It was a perfect morning for it, absolutely beautiful. (Wouldn't it be nice if the weather was like this all summer?) Then it was off to McDonalds playplace for lunch. We were the only ones in there and it was so very quiet and peaceful. Unfortunately it was then off to Wal-Mart...

I have a texting obsession now. It is all Andrea's fault. I had never texted before our trip to Florida a few years ago-that is when it all got started. At Mickey D's today Brian called and I didn't talk long because I told him I didn't really have much to talk about (I really really hate talking on the phone). At which time I then proceeded to send him at least 10 texts of nonsense stuff going on as I sat there. And when the Queen of Texting tells you you text a whole lot, well, there may be a problem...lol Christy;)

There really needs to be stop lights or something at the end of the aisles at Wal-Mart. Have you ever noticed how hard to is to stop your cart when it is overflowing full when you come to the end of aisle and have to make a wide semi-like turn to get it to go the direction you want, only to whip it out right in front of the lady barreling down the said aisle with only milk in her cart who feels it really isn't her responsibility to watch out for such for folks with two kids hanging on the sides of their already 200 pd. cart??...Or how about the folks who stop in the middle of the aisle to chitchat and pretend to notice you and 20 other folks aren't standing there behind them trying to squeeze through? Haven't they ever heard of texting?...Grr...Road rage at Wal-Mart...

I had a nostalgic moment this morning at the park. There was a carnival set up in the parking lot. I spent a summer traveling with one when I was 10. Long story there. Brian thinks it has the makings for a good book. One day maybe I will blog on those adventures. But not today...

Coming Home

I was commenting (is that what you call it??) with a family member on Facebook-yes you Angie:)-about the joys of getting lost. Especially in Lawrence Co. When I was doing home health care I spent many an hour lost in that darn county. There are backroads that go on forever, and so many little "towns" out in the middle of no-mans land that seem so lost back in time that I sometimes felt I had come upon Mayberry-not that that is a bad thing in the least. From experience I can say the backroads of Lawrence County rival only those of Martin County, which are the most beautiful around, in my own opinion anyways.



And I don't know if you are familiar with directions that the powers that be in home health tend to dole out, but it goes something like this: turn right at the first big rock, then at the third Y make a left and go north and make third right at the second big oak, then left at the sign for the garage sale, the house is the 3rd blueish green trailer on the left 2 doors down with the junk car out front. Have big dogs, use the back porch door, knock twice first, don't sit your bag on the floor or you'll bring home unwanted creepy-crawlies, etc. etc. And 9 times out of 10, the directions should have said left not right and right not left and, when you call the power that be on call for the weekend to figure out where the heck you are supposed to be, they get angry for taking them away from whatever they are enjoying because any moron should be able to figure out how to get there-not mentioning of course that they have actually never been there themselves-well you get the picture. And of course I may be exagerrating just a bit, but not much:)



I once spent an hour and a half on a backroad where I of course got very limited cell service, only to call my patient and find out they were an hour and a half the other way on the OTHER road with the SAME name. Which could happen because they were actually in a different "town"-with a different zip code, and possibly even a different area code. And obviously these folks weren't always real pleasant when you finally arrived 3 hours late.



For those of you who don't know me real well, I used to tend to panic very easily in such situations.



To the point I would pull over to the side of the road and just wail that I was never going to make it back safe and sound to my side of the world, and I would panic that my patient would yell at me for being late and then I'd get a nasty phone call Monday from the agency chewing me out for being so late. Then I would sit there and beat myself up for being so dense that I couldn't figure out north from south and on and on and on it would go till I had myself convinced I was just a hopeless basketcase not worthy of my job, the job that I really wasn't good at anyways....



Whew. Sounds like a very tiring way to live huh? Often following the wrong direction and getting lost, beating oneself up for mistakes over and over, it makes for an unhappy, stressed out person. Yep, that was me.



When we follow God's direction, we don't get lost. When we accept His grace, we are forgiven for our mistakes. When we give our cares to Him, we don't have to worry. Sounds like a much more enjoyable life doesn't it?

Happy Anniversary!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Well, our anniversary is actually the 17th, but since we will be enjoying our cabin in Little Nashville on that day, I'm posting this a bit early.

14 years!!! Man, it has flown, yet it seems forever ago we met. It happened on New Year's Eve 1992. I was 16, and me and 3 friends decided to sneak out of Valley and head to Shoals to a party at the Mill. My first party. I didn't see Brian at first. But he saw me. He leaned over to his brother, pointed me out, and said there is the girl I'm gonna marry some day. Hmm. I have to admit, he didn't make a great first impression. I was taken with him, but yet I kinda thought he was a smart-alec jerk too! (I actually kept that opinion for quite a few months.) He was persistent though. And at the end of the night I gave him a cute little peck on the cheek and ducked into my friend's car before he could say a word-I was shy. And of course the whole time Brian was thinking I didn't like him-even thought I'd given him a fake phone number.

He came into my life at its darkest and brought me through it to a much better place. Bless his heart for sticking with me, it was a lot to deal with.

2 and a half years later I married my soulmate. We've had ups and downs. We started out in a run down house with very little heat. I'm being truthful when I say I could actually see my breath in the bathroom! From there we moved a mobile home onto the property we had bought. It was a swamp. I told Brian there was no way we could ever make it in to anything. Man he worked hard to get it cleared and drained. We had Alex the year before we built our house, and Alex had some problems after birth. Soon after moving in to our house we had a scare. Brian's doctor diagnosed him with kidney cancer. A few specialists and a lot of anguish later it turned out ok. Four years later we had Ashten. In between all those years he has supported my OCD/manic/type A personality while I was finding my place in life and growing a bit more laid-back.

He has always been my rock, my encourager, my biggest fan, my best friend. We don't fight, we have complete respect for one another, and we never get tired of one another's company. What more could I ask for? It's been a wonderful life.

I'm looking forward to growing old together....

A Bluebird's Lesson

I am a self-proclaimed bird nerd. I love bird watching, and one of my many favorites is the Eastern Bluebird. I keep various houses around the yard for them.

Today, as I was sitting on my back porch while Ashten swam, I was watching my mama bluebird tend her 5 newest family members, and I decided to get my camera and take some pictures of her. Then I just had to sneak up there and open the box to get a pic of the babies too.

And looking at that picture got me to thinking.

She faithfully returns time and time again with food for her babies. It happens so often that they begin to relate noise on the box with her landing to feed and immediately sit up with mouths open to grab whatever worm or bug she brings for them. If you notice in the picture one little guy did the same for me when he heard me opening the box.

I decided it just fit with the devotion from John 10 I was reading while on the porch.

The man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger, in fact, they will run away because they do not recognize a stranger's voice. And because they did not understand what Jesus was telling them he said again, I am the gate for the sheep. Whoever enters through me will be saved. The thief only comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd, I know my sheep and my sheep know me, and I lay down my life for the sheep.

That little bird did not really know his mama's voice. He assumed any "voice" would feed him. There is so much noise in the world; are you listening to every confusing thing out there today? Or are you focusing on His? For it is Jesus who lay down His life to guide you home.

Let It Go

I have been wrestling with the idea of this blog for a week now. Quite honestly, I didn't want to write it. On my way home today, I couldn't ignore it anymore. And when I got home, there was a book on my counter with a page marked. Don't know where it came from, I'm guessing Brian drug it in from somewhere and left it, I really don't know.

There was a passage in it marked with a slip of paper that said "God often gives me more than I can handle...so I'll have to turn to him for help. And that which doesn't kill me, makes my faith stronger." That pretty much did it, so here I sit praying for God to give me the words to write. I don't know but a very few of the people who read this blog. But I feel the need to pour out my heart in hopes that someone will open their heart to what God is telling them here.

My heart has been broken, in a way I never imagined would happen again. It took many years for me to overcome my father ignoring me for 18 long years. And when he came back into my life, it took us quite a while to build any sort of relationship. Now, I fear he has taken a path I cannot follow him on, so what took so long to build, he has now turned his back on.

I have spent the past week in tears, self-pity, worry, doubt, you name it. And there have been times that the devil has been on my shoulder whispering in my ear making me doubt all that I am and all that I know deep in my heart to be true. I tried finding peace. But even when I thought I was praying and hearing God, I wasn't really listening. I was still trying to solve it, still trying to make things work my way, still trying to come up with a way to fix it, still worrying about what might happen, what might not happen, trying to make sense of the pain I felt.

And then, the realization hit that really there was only "I" in any of that. But when I finally slowed down, sat down, and put everything out of my mind but listening to God, there He was. He wanted me simply to trust Him. That's all I needed to do, nothing more. No more worrying, no dwelling on what is or what might be or what might have been. I needed to trust that His will is being done, His plan will come to pass. In the end it may not be what I had hoped for, but that is okay. I am a child of God.

I'm going to rest, and pray, and listen, and follow whatever God puts on my heart. I hear that as we grow closer to our Father, the devil will fight it with all he has. I don't know if this is part of his schemes, but I do know this has been a lesson for me and I am grateful God is deepening my faith.

My dear grandma says never pray for patience, because the only way we learn it is by going through trials. But our faith will never grow either.

No matter what you have done or what you are facing, you are never alone in the world. So give whatever it is troubling your heart to God today. Completely, totally give it to Him. There is a peace out there far greater than anything this earthly world can offer.