What Chances We Miss

After a night of no sleeping, I got the kids up this morning (late). Alex graciously reminded me I had told them yesterday morning I would drive them to school today upon Ashten's request (which she informed me once we were halfway there this morning she would have rather rode the bus). On the way there it was incredibly foggy. But halfway out the "stretch" the sun broke through the fog and we saw the most awesomely amazing sun. It looked like a big ball of fire, and the fog surrounding it looked like smoke. I've never seen anything like it.

Well, I am a very amateur picture taker. I love to take nature pics. So I hurried home to get my camera (with low battery light on of course), but when I got back, of course the fog had moved in more and my chance was gone. Man I was bummed. But I wound up cruising backroads chasing the sunrise and came along the above opportunity, which is by no means what I could have gotten had I put the camera in my car like I had been meaning to for months.

So it was a once in a lifetime missed opportunity. Quite honestly, I wanted to just put the kids on the bus this morning and forget my promise. And quite honestly, after missing my moment and finding myself all over the countryside, I wondered what in the world I was doing when I could have been home in bed. But it was a beautiful morning to be out and about viewing God's picture show.

I wonder, though, how many once in a lifetime opportunities we miss because we don't take the time or effort to listen to that "check in our spirit" that comes ever so gently, urging us to seize that moment and make a difference, take a chance. Or in my case, simply because we aren't prepared when it comes.

In Christ Alone

I have been battling with letting go of fear for some time now. Over the past month, I've really been tested on it. A few weeks ago there were whisperings in my ear of events to come that put me into a fear darker than I have ever known. I began to doubt all I knew about the love of God. And yesterday I thought I was seeing those events begin to come to pass. For the first time in my life, I was on my face crying out to God in a way I never have before.
There is a passage in the Bible, Romans 8:26- So too the Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. I never really understood that. Yesterday, it was all I had.

Later last night, as I was reading a paragraph from a Joyce Meyer book, I came across a sentence that spoke to my heart. "I had a problem, a fiery dart I had not encountered before. But God showed me how to pray, and I was set free." If you have never read her book Battlefield of the Mind, may I suggest you do so if you struggle with fearful or negative thoughts?

And as Max Lucado once wrote, "Faith begins when you see God on the mountain and you are in the valley and you know that you're too weak to make the climb. You see what you need...you see what you have...and what you have isn't enough to accomplish anything. Faith that begins with fear will end up nearer to the father."

Have I just completely given up all fear and become a new person? No. But that is ok. For now it is enough that I know my Father like never before. If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free-John 8:31-32. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you-Isaiah 43:2. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you-1 Peter 5:10.

In complete honesty, I struggle sometimes with writing such personal blogs. It becomes scary when I really contemplate all those who could be reading them. There is always a thought in the back of my mind that people are going to think I've just lost it. Those who know me know I'm not good at sharing the personal stuff. There is no way I could ever speak a lot of what goes into these blogs out loud. But if we do not share with one another the things we go through, the things we learn, if we are not honest and willing to lay it all out there, how will we ever really know of God's glory? I truly believe that is what makes an Emmaus Walk so powerful. The willingness of all involved to completely lay bare their hearts, and it comes about by being shown God's perfect love and acceptance. If you have spent your life running away, please stop, find time to be still, and truly become immersed in His word. It's powerful.

My Welcome Home Surprise

Such a wonderful, awesome weekend! This was the first Emmaus Walk I have worked! I was fortunate to be placed in a job that allowed me to really see the whole thing, behind the scenes and the talks. Seeing those girls come in afraid and full of hurt on Thursday, then seeing the transformation that had taken place by Sunday afternoon was just indescribable. I wanted to take them all home with me. It was such a blessing to be able to just give with my whole heart over the weekend.

But sometimes it is easier to give than to receive.

I have to brag now on my wonderfully amazing husband (and kids). A lovely gal I worked with this weekend had given me the idea of leaving little gifts for my kids over the weekend. I wrote them both letters, left notes on their pillows, wrapped gifts for Dad to give them each day. I left a letter and a snack on Brian's pillow and the letter told him where to look for the next on the following day-kind of a treasure hunt game. He would text everytime he found one telling me he was having a ball with our game. And I was feeling pretty spiffy about making them all feel a little better about me being gone....

Well. They gave back to me in such an awesome gift. I've been checking out the mums in the stores. Not the little pots, but the big, over-the-top pots. The deep orange and deep red ones are my favorites. Brian had been telling me to just buy them, but I kept telling myself I really had no place to put any. Also, we watch a lot of HGTV at night when we snuggle up in bed. Everytime they show those awesome closet renovations-can anyone say SHOE RACK?-I just drool. So...

When I got home last night, I took the kids a huge bunch of balloons that were left over and we had to sit down on the floor so the kids could look through all the "goodies" I had brought home with me. Brian brought me a bowl of vegetable soup (homemade by him and very good)and waited ever so patiently. Finally, when he could tell I had chilled some (it is a running joke about how OCD I am when I first get home from anywhere), he brought up how our closet just smelled really funky and he wasn't sure why. I put it off, but he brought it up again, and told me to go check it out. Well, at this point the kids were giggling, so of course I knew something was up. Oh man was there.

I walked into our closet and just stood there dumbfounded. Over the weekend, Brian and Alex together had put in wood shelves (not just any shelves-cedar shelves). There was a fancy motion light that spotlighted different areas that made everything look like it was in a fancy department store. He had even folded everything and had bought lined wicker baskets and had them placed oh-so-HGTV-like and had put all of my belts and such in them. And placed (again in high fashion) on the floor were two huge mums with a card Ashten had made me. Then they told me to turn around. And by the door was a 5 foot tall shoe rack on the wall made of cedar. We are talking lots and lots of holes for shoes (which of course Ashten had sorted all of my endless pairs of flip flops into all the holes). And sitting on the top he had placed candles and a box of chocolates. It all looked so professional. Oh my. I stood there and absolutely blubbered. I don't like to cry because I'm an ugly crier. And oh boy was it ugly!!

The joy on their faces was just priceless. I am so very blessed.

And as a side note I to say...in typical maleness...when we went to bed he pointed over to the side of his bed and said he had put a big bag of clothes there because he had no idea what to do with them...He is just so priceless:)

Greening Up My Home

Ok. Today I'm switching gears a bit and sharing about my passion to become more "green" around our home. When I was in massage school, some of my classmates and teachers began showing me just how horrible many of the products we use (including many medicines, but I won't go there)are to our health. Last week, I was introduced to a wonderful local company (and wonderful folks) making natural soaps and makeup. Check it out at www.phchnaturalsoap.com. Their soaps leave your skin feeling awesome, and I love the mineral makeup-shameless plug here. So it has been on my mind to share what I have learned thus far in greening-up my home.

Ivory bar soap is awesome for laundry stains and is much more user friendly. As is baking soda as a bleach enhancer, and white vinegar is great as an all around whitener and brightener and static cling reducer. I've heard that the arm and hammer dry laundry soap works great (and is much cheaper). Lemon juice works great for fruit stains. Baking soda and a hot iron works great on oil and grease stains. And the good ol' sunshine (think clothesline) is a great alternative to that expensive dryer (and using it to dry clothes vs. dryer will keep sweat stains from turning yellow and is much better for mildew stains).

For household cleaning try vinegar and water on windows. Vinegar is also a great germ killer in the kitchen and bath. Peroxide is more natural and also makes a great germ killer on cutting boards. Try using a mixture of baking soda and water in a spray bottle to freshen carpets, furniture, the air, whatever. It is a great odor eater and harmless to your pets and kids. For toilets and tubs, vinegar poured on baking soda along with a good scrubber is great for stains (and fun to watch) and this also works well for smelly garbage disposals. If you are feeling rich, try toothpaste as an abrasive for cleaning. I'm sure it smells great! A little olive oil and lemon juice makes a great furniture cleaner and polish.

I personally now use olive oil on my skin instead of lotion. Works great! Try it on your hair! Awesome. (But my cousin would warn to put it on DRY hair then shampoo WITHOUT water and rinse). Some people swear by pouring peroxide over their toothbrush for tartar removal. And -ahem- a little whiskey is a great way to kill throat germs (gargle and spit folks:)) Any magazine these days will give you wonderful natural ideas for use in beauty/bath!

And don't forget essential oils. I'm an essential oil collector. It all started as a way for me to "smell up" my house because so many candles made me really sick. Last night I used a diffuser in our bedroom with lavender, ylang ylang, and jasmine, and we both slept better than we have in days. When Brian was sick with a head cold, I used eucalyptus, tea tree, and cinnamon, and he woke up feeling great the next day. And turkey ticks? They hate a mixture of olive oil, tea tree, cinnamon, geranium, lavender, and thyme I make up for us to use on our skin. It also works well to get rid of the itch of bug bites. Clove, lemongrass and cedarwood are also good insect repellants (mosquitos!). Tea tree is the best lice repellant known (I read up on some EPA studies)and it is a great antibacterial/antifungal. And I learned last week to use a few drops of some different oils on my hummingbird feeders to keep away the bees. Essential oils are also great beauty/bath products. There are some wonderful books out there on essential oils!

Little by little, I am replacing things in my home with more natural products. Now when I walk down the cleaner aisle in Wal-Mart, the smell just knocks me down. We have no idea what is in that stuff. And may I also mention how much cheaper it is to use everday household products like vinegar and baking soda???

Ashten

Ok, tomorrow is her actual birthday, but I'm posting today!

My beautiful Ashten Faith was born at 7:44 am September 2, 2003 by scheduled c-section. 8 pounds 12 oz. And lots and lots of thick black hair.

She has always had an independent spirit. She used to get mad and kick as hard and fast as she could in my belly. Then she was never really happy till she could walk n talk and do her own thing. We know as she grows we are going to have to be creative in nurturing that independent, adventurous spirit.

An animal lover, a diva, a singer (she used to hum herself to sleep before she could talk), a poser, a comic, a crafting fanatic (yeah, didn't take that after me). She loves to be doing things, especially if it is outdoors. Part tom-boy, all girly girl. Catching bugs is a favorite pasttime, but we love to buy big girl makeup.

We want to take things apart just so we can see how they work. Incredibly clever Ashten is. She can think outside the box, and has always been amazing at thinking ahead of her years.

She has a tender, generous, soft heart (just don't ask her brother). Actually they get along really well.

She started kindergarten as you all know. It's been a rough adjustment for me. My house is so quiet during the day. I miss her on walks when I see a butterfly that needs catching, I miss taking her to the park and McDonalds on grocery day.

It is hard to remember her baby years. They are just a blur. I know it's only going to go faster. But I'm so very thankful for each and every moment God has blessed us with.