Advent Conspiracy

Wow. Can you imagine what the world could be like if we lived out Christianity like Jesus meant us to?

I spoke with a lady this week that helped with the county toy store program that is put on by a few of the churches in Martin County. She said that over half of the toys given to donate are given by Crane through the Marines toy program. The rest are donated through area churches. The toys value around $15. Parents sign up to shop at a certain time, and can pick two toys for each child. She stated that would be all that some children receive at Christmas. She also stated that over 400 kids were shopped for.

400. For a small county, that is a lot of kids.

I received a Christmas card from the boy we sponsor through World Vision. With it we received a letter stating that with the help from sponsors, in the area of Kenya where our little boy lives, they were able to provide potable drinking water to the schools. From what I understood in the letter, for some time they have not been able to attend because of the lack of water.

My cousin is currently stationed at a military base in Afghanistan. He oversees medical care provided there to detainees. My aunt told us a story about how many military there receive nothing at Christmas, and are absolutely thrilled to get basic necessities like warm socks, let alone a bag of candy.

On Christian television programming I see children dying daily from hunger and lack of basic medical care in war torn third world nations. Recently one program was trying to raise enough money to supply many of them with shoes to wear.

I admit I have bought into the whole materialism at Christmas thing with my kids, while donating a little here and there to ease my conscience. I believe we will go about it a little differently next year.

I urge you to look up "advent conspiracy" on the net.

King Jehoshaphat

How often do you feel you are up against something that you cannot overcome? A family situation, financial woes, lonliness, sickness, pain, fear, depression.....

I find myself often battling fear of the unknown and depression. Fear of all the bad things that could come against my family. Depression especially hits hard in the winter with no warm sun in sight.

In 2 Chronicles, chapter 20, King Jehoshaphat was warned a huge army was coming against him. But instead of throwing up his hands in defeat, instead of running every possible scenario through his mind of what could happen, instead of retreating, he "resolved to inquire of the lord".

He stood up in front of his people of Judah and first gave thanks to God. He acknowledged God's power. He admitted that he had not the manpower fo face the approaching army, that he didn't know what to do. Then he stated that no matter what calamity came against them, they would stand in God's presence and cry out in distress, knowing with all their hearts He would hear them.

And what happened? God answered Jehoshaphat. "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Take up your positions, stand firm, and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."

I see the story of Jehoshaphat as an example for us personally on how to come to God in prayer for those attacks that come against us.

1. Know and praise His complete and awesome power.- I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so you may know Him better. I pray the eyes of your heart be enlightened in order you kay know the hope to which He has called you, and His incomparably great power for those who believe.-Ephesians 1:17-19.

2. Confess your own lack of capabilities in handling things on your own. -My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.-2 Corinthians 12:9.

3. Acknowledge that no matter what happens, you know God is by your side-The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.-Zephaniah 3:17.

4. Expectantly wait upon Him. Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you.-Deuteronomy 31:6.

5. Thank Him. "After Jehoshaphat had heard from God, he appointed men to sing to the Lord and praise Him as they went out at the head of their army. And as they begin to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against their enemy and they were defeated."

Hodgepodge of Sparkle and Smiles

Apparently there has been a price rollback.....


I just love that barn. It caught my eye some months back when we were out taking a drive.


So..this is number 100 in blogdom for me. I have no theme for this blog. I have no idea where it is going. It may just be a hodgepodge of thoughts....

I'm sitting here looking at my white Christmas tree. Yes, I said white, not pretty, snowy white or anything, just twiggy, droopy white. Alex desperately wanted a white tree a few years back. It was the only one we could find, as purple and black and pink and every other color of tree weren't around yet. So there it sits.

I'm not a designer tree person. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing them by any means. Many are absolutely beautiful. (And I secretly admire all of the pretty color schemes they come up with every year only to smile and nod agreement when Brian goes on about how silly they are.)

My tree is more like this blog. A hodgepodge. But in a good way. I've begun thinking of it in my head as the memory tree, right down to it being the awful, scrawny, white pathetic looking tree my son picked out years back.

It holds an assortment of ornaments. We have the one we picked up in the Smoky Mountains on our honeymoon. Which is right after I locked the keys in the car in a very shady part of Lexington on our honeymoon night and we had to call in a locksmith....(this is actually the first time I have ever admitted it was my fault)....

I have critter ornaments from my mom (she has her own small petting zoo), ballerinas and tiny little old looking dolls from my late stepmom (who always thought I had a love of dolls-I never disillusioned her, but honestly I detest them), I have a santa and mrs. claus given to me by my aunt when I was probably Ashten's age, I have pitiful dollar store ornaments from my and Brian's first Christmas together (including the dollar store angel tree topper that I've never had the heart to replace), there is Brian's favorite one that sits atop a light so that it glows, and of course I have handmade ornaments the kids have made over the years. Though I put my foot down on the tinfoil ball Alex wadded up and gave me one year, to which he thoughtfully agreed really shouldn't be on the tree....

My favorites though are the ones the kids pick out each year. When Alex was a baby, I started the tradition that each year our kids get one special ornament. Each year they get to pick a new one...whatever they want...which makes for an interesting tree...

But it is neat to look back at each one representing a year in their life. They usually pick one representing what they are really in to at the moment. I've got a train and a dumptruck, many cats, a heart and various critters, dalmations, a guitar of course, a snowglobe, and from their first Christmases, an ornament to hold a picture taken that year. Alex's, at about 9 months, has his incredibly goofy and happy grin picture when he saw his little ride on firetruck (when the tv remote would go missing it was the first place to look) and Ashten's, at about 3 1/2 months, is of her in her bouncy seat smiling and holding a stocking hand painted with "Ashley" across the front..that is a long story involving my Russian cousin just learning our language..long story..

But the one we laugh about the most each year is Ashten's giant sparkly blue ball. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them, it's just that it looks really out of place on our tree. All oversized and stylish, of course it is still her favorite.

Ah well. I have told them that when they move out they get to take them to put on their own trees. I can just imagine Alex's wife telling him there is no way she is putting that hideous blue reindeer on her tree. And maybe Ashten will buy a few more sparkly balls to match her blue one...


So there we have it. Blog 100. It took off in a direction after all....

Drills, Directions, and Saws

Last night we went out for chinese food (well Ashten took in a to-go bag from Wendys-which we got the evil eye and hovering presence of the hostess for) then came home and watched National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, or as it is called in my house "the fried cat movie".
Brian decided he and the kids were going to make rice krispies treats. One flaw in my husband is he thinks he is too good to take time to actually read directions-on anything. He's a man, he doesn't need to read directions.
Whatever.
So I was sitting in the living room listening to the conversation going on in the kitchen. To his credit, I did hear him read the amounts on the first two ingredients. But then as they were pouring in the generic over-sized box of cereal, I heard him say "pour in all of it".
Hmmmm....
I then started hearing "this doesn't look right, they aren't gooey."
In my superior kitchen-ability voice I had to point out the back of the box stated 5 cups of cereal, not the entire box.
They aren't bad.
They aren't very good either.
We decided it must be more healthy this way because the butter and marshmallow are distributed over a very large area of cereal.
That means you can eat twice as much and not feel guilty, right??

I spent most of the night last night on the couch because of the chain saw noises coming from my husband. Now I have a killer headache from sleeping on the couch.

Yesterday we went to Lowes and bought doors n such because he is building in a pantry for me in the laundry room. Of course that somehow required a new drill, driver, flashlight combo set. And a new miter box saw.
Now my kids are having a ball in the living room seeing how long the battery will last on the drill and driver. Hmmm...
Brian says Alex is going to learn how to use a miter box saw today.
Ehhhh.......
Anyways, I'm being hounded for the computer at this point because I stole it away from Alex when he wasn't looking.
Something about getting his team prepared for Super Bowl.
Sounds much safer than saws....

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

The righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus to all who believe. For all have sinned and fall short of he glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace, through the redemption that came by Jesus. Romans 3:22-24.

That is a hard one for me to wrap my head and heart around sometimes.

For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15.

Yep, that is more like it.

I'm pretty sure we all struggle with it. For me personally, I unintentionally tend to play this little game where I do something good and then it's "hey, look at me, I did this right, I finally got it right, I'm a good person, I should be rewarded now." Only to screw up in the same area ten times over the next week. Then I feel defeated and guilty.

Then the whole thing starts over. As one lady preacher says "we keep going around and around the same mountain instead of over it".

Grace is not easy. It should be I suppose, but somehow for me it's easier to try and work my way into it than just accept it. Sometimes it's hard to imagine how I could possibly be loved enough when I continually mess up after trying so hard to do what is right. So like a little kid trying to win a parent's love, I try harder.

And on the other side, it isn't always easy to be in love with someone you have never seen. I'm getting there, but for a long time when people told me how much they were in love with God I just couldn't get it. And I often felt like there must be something wrong with me. How could I love someone who lets such horrible things happen? How could I be so in love with someone I've never even seen, never talked to in person?

So I was on the way to see a client today and heard the song that is currently on my playlist. One of the band members from Tenth Avenue North introduced the song by saying it was written in frustration. Frustration because he was always hearing people say "I could love God if he would just.....". Fill in the blank with whatever.

He then quoted yet another verse from Romans- But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

My Bible is a study Bible, so there are commentaries on many of the verses. I'm going to put some of them here.

It is not by loving God and doing good that we are saved; neither is it by faith plus love or faith plus deeds. We are saved only through faith in Jesus, trusting him to forgive us.

What relief you should feel to see Jesus offering with open arms to lift you above the ladder of the law, to take you directly to God. Once He lifts you, you are free to obey-out of love, not necessity, and through God's power, not your own. You know that if you stumble, you will not fall back to the ground, but instead into His loving arms.....I like that!!

Instead of trying to overcome with human willpower, we must take hold of the tremendous power of Jesus that is available to us.

One of the most amazing things I have learned thus far is this: I can ask for Him to help me love Him. I can ask for His help in obeying His word. I can ask for my faith and trust to be strengthened. I can ask Him for anything.

Ok, that's actually four things.

Four things I learned from spending time in prayer, in my Bible, and in Bible study with fellow Christians.

I would encourage everyone to give them a try.

A Man Called Peter

We had our weekly Ya Ya meet tonight. I wish I had shared my devotional time study with them, but I didn't really have it all down in my mind till I got home and shared it with Brian.

So I will share it here.

I've been drawn towards the disciple Peter for some time now. Today I went through the concordance of my Bible and looked up and wrote down every thing Peter did in his life.

He was called by Jesus to follow him, yet he was so far from perfect.

In one very small act of obedience in throwing out his fishing net one more time after a fruitless night, his life was radically changed and became a disciple for Jesus.

One seemingly insignificant event.

One of the first things that happened in his new life as a follower of Jesus was that Jesus renamed him Peter (which means rock), and told him he would be the foundation for the church. As I looked into what all he did over the period of his life, he seemed far from someone who could ever be used in such a way by God.

Peter was an impulsive man. His mouth often got him in a lot of trouble. His faith wavered, he ran in fear. He denied knowing Jesus. He often didn't follow through with what he said he would do. He worried about comparing himself with others. Jesus rebuked him on more than one occasion. He thought following the law and keeping commandments was more important than simply loving Jesus. He had a lot to learn about servanthood. He was lazy and slept when he should have been keeping watch. He acted violently. He was predjudiced.

Doesn't sound much like disciple material.

He sounds a lot like me.

One major thing I had never realized before is that Jesus prayed for him. In Luke 22 when Jesus predicted Peter's denial of him, Jesus told him that Satan was asking to "sift him like wheat". Satan wanted to show how useless his faith was. He wanted to crush Peter and prove that he could be easily blown away. But Jesus told Peter he was pleading in prayer for him, so that his faith would not fail. And Jesus went on to say that when he had eventually repented and turned back to God, Peter would go on to strengthen his Christian brothers.

I don't know about you, but the thought of Jesus pleading in prayer for me and my faith not to waiver brings me to a loss for words.

Peter went on to become a dynamic speaker and preacher. He healed people. He brought about the church as we know it today. He did amazing things.

Peter was no where near perfect. He messed up a lot-all throughout his entire life.

Yet he was a disciple. One of only 12 called. He lived with, ate with, was taught by Jesus in the flesh. Peter was right there, side by side with Jesus. Someone who we think should have really just had it all together, I mean he was right there.

Jesus knew what he was getting when he called him. Jesus knew his weaknesses. Jesus used him in spite of them.

Jesus loved him, just as he loves me and you.

Delivery Day

I am missing my 4x4 today. Badly. I felt like I could go anywhere in my QuadraDrive Jeep-but spent most of my time at the gas station. I had to cancel a client today because I fear her driveway.

I realize there isn't a lot of snow out there.

Oh the shame I feel. I don't like feeling that such a little snow defeated me.

Anyways, she is a very kind soul and we rescheduled. I wonder if my scheduled in-office client will be braver than I?

So my washer bit the dust last week. I'm sorry to say I may or may not have did a happy dance when no one was looking. I may or may not have been silently willing it to die for quite some time....

I got a huge capacity (hey I do lots and lots of sheets) front loading type. The delivery guys were super nice, but I was afraid the poor guy was going to have a heart attack on me when we walked out into the garage and my dog caught sight of him. Poor guy wouldn't come out of the laundry room. She did sound pretty vicious, and he did say he has been bitten twice already. Poor guy, thought I was going to have to lead him out by the hand. Then he looked down and realized there was another dog lying there looking up at him. He pointed to her and said "what about this one?"

He was already stressed because their GPS told them to come by way of the country over "that really old huge bridge" from Ireland. Then we told them we are only a 1/4 mile off the highway in the other direction. Poor guys.

I will admit I was overly embarrassed when they pulled our old washer out. There was an amazing pile of stuff under there. To his credit though, he let us know they have been in much more expensive homes (gee thanks) that weren't half as clean. Thank goodness I finally got around to cleaning Saturday, I mean it's only been like 3 1/2 weeks....

Anyways, this thing is quite amazing. It is sooo quiet. Well it makes all kinds of pretty music when you turn it on, but running...wow. My old one was an ancient thing that usually tried to bring the house down on spin cycle. That may or may not have been because I try to shove as much clothing in as possible to cut down on loads. Which may or may not be why the thing bit the dust to begin with.

So many buttons to push. I'm a button meister. Love lots of buttons. Oh put me in a car with buttons and I am like a lil kid in a candy store. But this thing was a bit intimidating. So many that there is a customize your wash button. Geez. May be overkill.

I kid you not, Brian, hairball and I spent a good 20 minutes sitting on the laundry room floor just watching it do its thing. Well, actually the cat is still out there trying to figure out how to get in it. (He also likes to jump in the tub with the kids on occasion, and from time to time will slip into the shower if he spots one of us opening the door).

So since I'm not working for awhile yet, I guess I will sit down with the overly large instruction book and try to figure out how this thing works.

Or maybe I'll just go have a seat on the laundry room floor and enjoy the entertainment.

Christmas Pondering

One of my favorite things to do on Christmas Eve is to go outside after dark and stand and look at the stars and thank God for a baby born in a manger long ago. I like to play that out in my mind as I stand there in the cold (and hopefully some snow). (I've never understood why that is so important to Christmas considering Jesus lived in the desert.) But there isn't a night as silent and special as Christmas Eve.

I have to admit, I get a lil out of hand at Christmas. I go overboard on gifts for the kids. Each year I pledge never to do it again, and each year I do. I know better. Though in my defense, the rest of the year we are careful about having them do chores and save money for things they want. Not that that makes up for it whatsoever. But in the next few years they will be older and Santa will lose his appeal. A time will come when they will get more opportunity to learn giving is better. At least I keep telling myself that. I may be totally deluded...

I always have big ideals of perfect decorations, perfect cookies (I'm no baker), perfect family get-togethers (do those exist?), you name it. Of course it never works out that way. Too much Food Network and HGTV will do that to you.

I think maybe I try to hard to make up for the horrible Christmas' I experienced growing up. Christmas was not a joyous time in my home. Oh there were a few when I was young, but when my parents divorced when I was 4 was never the same. She remarried when I was around 9, and my home wasn't pleasant. Anger and fear ruled. Not to mention we were pretty poor. I remember one year working hard to save money to buy presents. I saved $32 by cleaning my grandparents house on the weekends (they payed well)and was so proud. I remember buying my mom an oversized candy cane (her favorite). That year I got two pair of ruffled socks and a bottle of bubble bath.

Those years have made me appreciate where I am now. My kids have pleasant Christmas memories (with maybe the exception of last year). I hope they never take it for granted as they get older.

Throat Woes

It's been a rough few days. The kids and I spent a big part of our day at the doctor's office yesterday. Ashten is so terrified of going. I promised ice cream and a visit to Wal-Mart afterwards if she could be as strong and tough as she knew how.



That went ok till the NP said throat and nose swabs.



She kinda fell apart. Her little legs started swinging fast as she sat there on that big table. I knew that was not a good sign. She put her tiny fists to her eyes and fought back those tears..hard. It was just more than she could take. I held her hand and tried to get her thoughts on a different track, but man it took forever for the nurse to get back there to get the job done.



Unfortunately (and pretty stupid on my part) I had told Alex long ago of the horrors I experienced in peds clinicals trying to do a nose swab on a toddler.



He hadn't forgotten that story.



He was big and brave, and bless his heart, he really wanted to go first just to get it over with. I didn't particularly want Ashten to witness the whole thing first hand right before she had to do it.



Of course it wound up not being a big deal, and all the worrying she put herself through leading up to it was a whole lot worse than actually having it done.



So we made our trip to Wal-Mart, found moldable My-Little-Pony soap (yay me, so fun to clean off the tub) and a Delorian hot wheel (just watched Back to the Future 1 and 2). And of course a tub of Snickers ice cream, which Ashten didn't get to enjoy too much because Hairball decided to take a lick when her back was turned. The only table food he ever investigates is the sweet stuff. Smart cat. She decided she didn't want cat germs.



I'm waiting for him to tell me his throat hurts. Serves him right.



So both kids have strep. It only took a few hundred dollars for the medical world to tell me something I already knew. They seem to get it a lot. Alex got to go back to school today, which didn't particularly thrill him by any means, Ashten got another vacation day. She is snoring away on the couch at the present moment.



Maybe this means they will both be healthy for Christmas.