My Sights Are On The Sparrow

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? -Matthew 6:25-27

That was a verse in our sermon this morning. And at the end, our pastor sang His Eye is on the Sparrow."

Around the second time she sang the title verse, Brian started nudging. He was trying really, really hard to control his laughter.

Now mind you, this was a pretty serious moment.

I didn't get it. I may have even glared.

Till later.

You see, I have a serious issue with sparrows. Not just any sparrows, mind you. No, I generally love all birds, sparrows included. I'm rather a bird nerd.

It's the house sparrow I cannot stand. One in particular actually.

It has gotten so bad that I can pick their annoying call out on TV shows. It irritates me to the point I often have to change channels. I can hardly stand to sit on my mother-in-law's porch (she lives in town, their favorite haunt). I evil eye them in parking lots, at the park, in neighbors yards. That teeth grinding call is everywhere.

This hatred is due to one male sparrow that has been my bane for a good four years now. And it used to be he only showed up in the spring, but this year he has decided to come home early-about two weeks ago to be exact.

The first time I heard him I was sitting on the couch reading my Bible. He was sitting out in the pear tree taunting me with his annoying little chirp.

HeHeHe...Hehehe.....Iiiii''''Mmmmm BBBAAACCCKKK!!!

It all began when I decided to put out a martin house. I spent the entire summer camped out on the front porch with a 22. In the wee hours of the morn I could be found hiding under my willow tree, barefoot, shells in hand. Because sparrows like to move in on other birds, martins especially, and destroy their babies.

He was especially determined.

Have any idea how hard it is to shoot a small little bird with a rifle? My martin house was riddled so full of holes that by last summer I finally gave up and took it down.

So this year he has decided to move into the bluebird house out back.

Our relationship has grown so close that he now he follows me around. I walked to my office the other day and he followed me, going from tree to tree in front of me. Toying with me.

Brian used to try to shoot him for me, to no avail. This year he has decided I've lost it. Now he says it doesn't really exist. The sparrow is really just a figment of my imagination.

I think he is just embarrassed he has never managed to actually hit the darn thing.

But maybe I need to look at this a little differently.

Maybe I need to try looking at it from the little nightmare's point of view.

Maybe...

Let's imagine what the little sparrow has been thinking all these years.

He's a hard working man, trying any way he can to make a home for his family. No place to call his own. To top it off he thinks the wife is pregnant. He's spent countless nights wondering what to do. But then he stumbles upon this lovely little one room condo. He is grateful to the owner, so thoughtful as to give him room and board. And has provided an all you can eat buffet nearby. The landlord even put in a new ventilation system...free!! At first it seems too good to be true, he's a bit wary, and unsure that his luck could ever be so good. Can he ever truly trust that this odd character would care so about lowly little him's welfare?

But in time, even though some tough times have come and gone, he realizes this person is gonna always make it ok. So to show his appreciation he tries to make it up to this lovely, thoughtful landlord. Every morn, noon and night, he sings his appreciation, showing love and undying gratitude, following this wonderful soul here and there. He ventured away for awhile here and there, but he knew when he returned he would be welcomed with open arms.

Okay, maybe that isn't how birds think at all.

But if it is, I sure want to be a little more like him.

Maybe next time we meet, I'll leave the gun inside, and give him a smile instead.

Maybe......

Meanies

The kids and I had all the togetherness we could take as this was our third day stuck in the house-loving all this white stuff. So we braved our way to McDonald's playplace today for lunch.

Things were going along pretty well. I was getting a break, they were climbing and sliding to their lil hearts content.

The next thing I know Ashten is on my lap.

Which seemed a bit strange given all the fun happening over in kid-dom.

The next thing I know she's got big tears threatening to spill over and looking at me with those awful, sad eyes.

When I could finally get her to tell me what was wrong, she said some girl had yelled at her and said some mean things. Apparently she thought that Ashten had stepped on her little sister somewhere among all the tunnels, and then this said little girl had threatened to come tell me when Ashten told her it wasn't true.

To which I told her she was going to have to get a bit tougher about letting little people hurt her feelings. Ashten has a very soft heart, and we've had this talk a time or two before.

To which she said "I tried really hard Mom, really I did, I just couldn't help it, she really hurt my feelings". This all being said with puppy dog eyes and dripping nose.

Oh my. That just about broke my heart.

About that time this little girl had seen Ashten talking with me and ran straight to her table which unfortunately was right behind me.

There were two or three moms there and the conversation went something like this: "Mom, this girl shoved her and grabbed her arm and hurt her." Hmmm. I then heard "Well if she does it again come get me and I'll go in there and take care of her." Along with some other nice comments from the other moms and lots of laughter.

It wasn't said jokingly. And I'm pretty sure Ashten heard them.

At this point my protective mommy dander was up and I wasn't walking in love with my thoughts here folks....at all.

Again later this little one came over and told them she (Ashten) kept looking at them. From what I could see Ashten refused to take her eyes off of my chin as she was still trying hard to get it together. But again another lovely comment or two was made. And she ran back to play again.

Now I had a choice.

I could either teach my girl to turn tail and run away.

Or I could convince her to get back out there and not let someone steal her joy.

And what I really wanted to do was turn around and give these ladies a piece of my mind, along with their sweetheart of a child.

It could have been a mommy-free-for all.

But that wouldn't have taught her how to fight her own battles. I can't always be there. Nor would it have set a very good example if she got to witness Mom get her butt kicked by 3 ladies much bigger than her....

With Alex's help (a little prodding and evil-eyeing on my part convinced him) Ashten went back over to play again with Alex by her side.

It wasn't long before this little girl was back at her table throwing one of the worst tantrums I have seen in awhile because she wasn't getting her way with some of the other kids.

It was quite a scene.

And while this precious princess was put into a time out, and Mom got to deal with a nasty little attitude towards herself and all her friends, Ashten in all her braveness got out there and wound up having a grand ol time with the little sister of the princess.

Ahh sweet retribution.

We had some discussion about the whole thing later in the car. And I hope Ashten came away from that encounter with some new confidence about dealing with the bullies of the world, and how to turn the other cheek while at the same time not letting them walk all over you. Along with some confidence in herself and who she is, and how we definitely can reap what we sow.

And myself? I am definitely still a work in progress.

And if you have read any of my other blogs about all of our goings-on that happen at the wonderful worlds of McDonalds and Wal-Mart, you will be pleased to know that yes, there was yet another old man sitting across from us watching the whole thing. I did get the pleasure of meeting his eye with some smiles on both our parts when the tantrum and time out happened....this time the smile was for me, not at me....

My Shepherd

Our Sunday school class discussed the 23 Psalm today by breaking it down verse by verse. That was something I had never thought about before. I've said the 23 Psalm before, but quite honestly had not given it a whole lot of thought outside of the whole "though I walk through the valley" part. Don't get me wrong, I think it's beautiful, just hadn't given it a whole lot of concentrated effort.

So using some of what I learned today from a couple of lovely folks that I greatly admire (I hope they don't mind) and some of what I've thought about on my own studying it this evening I want to get it down in writing, because quite honestly as I "age" my memory has gone right out the window right along with my normal hair color...

The Lord is my shepherd- As it was so beautifully put today, "the Lord is". Not has been, not will be, not might be if. He just is everything.

I shall not be in want- Ok, well I might still want the latest greatest tech gadget or a pretty new car...but honestly, there is nothing that I truly need that He hasn't already given or prepared for me. Phillipians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ". But we need to remember there is a big difference between wants and needs, and we have to come to Him with those needs.

He makes me lie down in green pastures- He will give us rest. Rest from busy-ness, from worry, from strife. And if we don't listen the first time, He will do what it takes to get us to a place where we can. I can't begin to put into words how many clients come to see me who hurt physically, who are just tired and sick and miserable. And the first thing they tell me is "I just go go go all the time, I have all these things going on that I worry about, I'm just so busy I have no time"......We eventually will crash, He will put us in a place where we are forced to stop and take a look around. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all ou who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul- In Revelation 4:6 it says "Before the throne there was something like a sea of glass, like crystal." Imagine a sea of glass, is it not perfectly still? Around God it is perfectly still, no worries, God isn't sitting around wringing His hands about tomorrow. As we get to know Him more, He will take us there if we let Him.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake-I always had trouble understanding the word "righteousness", then I finally got smart and got out the dictionary. It means morally upright, without guilt or sin. Oh my, oh my, who doesn't want to be there??? He wants us to follow His lead in all we do. Colossians 1:13 says "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." And what better reason to follow than to do it for God?

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me- I used to always take this literally, meaning it was only about physical death. But really I think it is so much more. One of the best things we can do is to wake up and realize satan is real. It is easy to conjure up Hollywood's images and popular culture's ideas. And that has lead us to eye rolling and laughing often times when that name is brought up. But the Bible says he is in the world today and we need to pay attention. The shadow of death is about so much more than dying. It's about all of the darkness of this world. But we need not fear it, for God has already defeated satan, all he has left are lies to use against us, and it is our choice whether or not to believe them. Furthermore, God is always always always with us. So could it possibly be one of those lies when we tell ourselves we don't feel God is there?

Your rod and your staff, they comfort me- One point that was brought up today is that doesn't mean He beats us over the head with it whenever we screw up. (Though I'm pretty sure He might like to sometimes..at least in my case when I'm just not getting what He has shown me over and over and over again.) Shepherds use their staffs to bring back their straying sheep. Sheep aren't bright creatures. They need to be led in all that they do.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies- Ok, I admit I never got this part at all. Recently I read in a book by Francis Frangipane that whatever spiritual battle you find yourself in, the battle will become your meal as whatever you are going through will eventually nourish you spiritually. We go through stuff with people, we go through stuff with satan. God has already gone before us and paved the way. I have personally found that in every trial I have been through, something good has come from it and it has made me better.

You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows- It was mentioned today that one way people used to be blessed and prepared was to be anointed with oil. God blesses us.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life- That doesn't mean we aren't going to go through stuff. Some of it is God's way of growing us and molding us to be what we are supposed to be, some of it He uses so that we can be a light and inspiration to others down the road, and some of it comes from stuff we have brought on ourselves. And some of it is just a result of a fallen world. But God's goodness and love are always readily available to us, He never leaves us. We must find the point we go beyond emotions and what we feel to just knowing we are God's beloved children.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever- One thing that I have struggled with in the past is "do we get to be with God for eternity just because we are saved?" I have had intense indepth discussions with many friends on this one. For me personally I have found that we worry way too much about the legalities of being saved and being "good enough". Being saved simply put means we have asked God to be a part of our lives by accepting what Jesus did for us. We messed up, we will always mess up, we don't deserve it, but we want to strive to have a personal loving relationship with God and Jesus made that possible. When we have that relationship, we want to be better, following God becomes more about a loving relationship between a father and child than about duty bound feelings.

One More Encounter at Wal-Mart

After the kids headed out to school this morning, I decided I would make a hasty trip to Wal-Mart and beat the coming snowstorm as we are out of food-well good food anyways-and we've gotta have Superbowl munchies. Brian was off today and decided he needed to drive me in case the weather got bad.

I actually think he really just had breakfast and a good cup of coffee somewhere in mind, but I played along.

So after breakfast at Denny's we made our way over there. We went up to the deli counter to pick out some meat and cheese for Sunday's game. Brian told the girl behind the counter we weren't sure yet so she went on with what she was doing.

About that time an older feller walked up and stood beside me and asked if I had been waited on and I told him to go ahead because we couldn't make up our minds. Instead of getting the girl's attention he went into a tangent about how slow they always were there, and about how they liked to pretend you weren't there.

At this point I was a bit uncomfy as the girl behind the counter was listening to every word and giving me the sideways eye/smile.

I did the uneasy laugh and told him again he was welcome to go ahead in front of us and tried to look really intent on picking out just the right kind of turkey.

All the while my oblivious husband was having one of his famous silly conversations with another deli worker about the pros and cons of smoked turkey vs. oven roasted. They were having a good ol time beside us, laughing it up.

I guess the guy must of felt a bit guilty at this point because he then made a comment about he must just be in a grouchy mood today. I tried my best to think of something to say to lighten his load a bit, but I honestly felt about as slow and dim-witted as usual and gave him a smile and a laugh. That was all I could come up with. I wanted desperately to say something to make him feel better but...nothing.

As the turkey lady finished up our order and Brian thanked her and they did the whole "have a great weekend" thing I watched the scene play out between my moody guy friend and the first gal. She was slicing cheese a piece or two at a time and bringing them over to the scale to make a pound. He finally told her the amount was fine she didn't have to go through the trouble and keep going back and forth for him.

Guess he wasn't feeling so grouchy after all.

I wondered on the way home what that man went away thinking from the whole encounter. Or maybe the whole thing was my typical over-analyzing and he didn't go away thinking anything but how good his roast beef and swiss sandwich was gonna taste.

But I do know from my own bouts of the grouchies, those times when it is so very easy to complain about service and slow people and-ahem-those folks who just love to stand in the middle of the aisles with their carts chattin it up, it's hard not to notice when the people around you stay all friendly and gracious-like.

Especially hard when you've managed to oh-so-accidentally gently nudge their cart out of the way all the while talking especially loud at your spouse about the nerve of some people. Yep..

It's hard to be a complainer when there are lovely folks around. Well, in Brian's case lovely and usually downright goofy, choosing instead to make everyone around them smile.